This is an attempt to reclaim my blog.

It will be mine. Oh yes, it will be mine.

So, similar to Carol, I just logged into Blogger, and I was offered to be a tester for the new GMail by Google. 1000 megabytes free space, message search, e-mail replies shown as threads, no pop-ups... the works.
Word up.
Interestingly enough, the way Google is paying for all this is through a special advertising system. Their engine scans your e-mails, and depending on the appearance of certain words, sentences, etc, it shows banner ads appropriate to what it sees you talking about. That way, advertisers have a higher chance of their ads reaching interested customers, and so they are willing to pay more money for advertising space.
That's my understanding of it anyways.
Cool system, cool new e-mail address. I sure hope it works out. I mean, a GIGABYTE of free space?!? That just rocks.

Anyways, it's spring, and what better way to enjoy the pleasant weather then by sitting in front of your computer going to the links I promised last blog? I know that's what I'll be doing. Check it:

Evil lyrics?!? Satanic messages?!? Subliminal hints?!? I sure hope so, and apparently, Led Zeppelin is doing those very things to make me happy. Maybe it's bullshit and we're hearing things, maybe it's meant to be there just for the sake of something trippy. I'm sure Pink Floyd's little 'Dark Side Of Oz' trick isn't exactly an accident either (if you don't know what I'm talking about, look it up or ask me... or comment in my blog and I'll blog about it... either way, it's important stuff to know).
Whatever. Whether you lean towards believing in evil messages or towards bands having a trippy sense of humour, finding satanic messages in Zeppelin music is still fun.
Oh, you need sound for that link. Just reading it isn't the same.

Speakign of things sent from satan, here's a man dressed in a chicken suit and willing to do what you tell him to do:
Subservient Chicken is the archetype website to explain why the internet is both the best thing ever and so messed up that it hurts. It's a good hurt, though. A subservient chicken hurt.
Tell that thing to do whatever you want. I told him to "die" and he did that. I've only found a couple commands it didn't understand, so it just stood there like a confused moron in a chicken suit, rather than a subservient moron in a chicken suit.

So, the most popular thing I've ever posted here was those damn penguin games. Fortunately, now that those got old, they've come out with a THIRD ONE!!! YAY!!!!
Sadly, I can't link it directly. Instead, you'll have to go to the Yeti Sports website and find it yourself. Oh, and as you can also see there, the fourth edition of the game will be out on April 29th. Dear god I'm so excited I can't even see straight.

Do you hate the Yeti games? Some people do. A lot of people hate the games because they can't win. The games make them angry. Very angry.
Well, now you can take out that pointless anger on the penguin itself. Some crazy person made THIS, a slightly altered version of everyone's favorite first Yeti game.
Keep trying at this, by the way. If you get the head over the spikes, it might hit a mine or two, then it goes REALLY far.

...and that about rounds it up.
Have a good one, people.

Exams suck.
Here's some cool shit from around the internet to procrastinate with:

First off, maybe what you need is a nice, furry, little animal! Well, here's everyone's chance to get themselves... a FREE CAT!!!! Yay!!! What fun!!!

Then again, maybe cats aren't your thing. Instead, get some stress relief from the ultimate stress reliever: Bubble wrap. Always a good thing. Not such a good thing is that I have actually spent more than 3 minutes at that site.

Uh... coffee. Everyone drinks it a lot at exams. Tons of it. So... uh...
Alright, forget it. I was trying to make these all ammusingly topical, but I give up. Just check out this cartoon about coffee already. You weren't going to read what I wrote anyways.
If that cartoon is too boring for you (or even if it isn't, I guess), check out Panic Attack. Pretty trippy, but somehow very cool. It's an animated short from THIS site. I like their animation a lot, simply because it's something a little different from the norm.

This is already from a while back, but check out THIS very cool discovery. Yay for space exploration.

OK, I saved the coolest links for last, but now I have to go, so I'll have to post them next time. I'm such a little tease.

Amazing that you people still bother coming here to check if I've updated. I appreciate it, though.

This is a really long entry, and if I was any of you, I would stop now. This certainly won't be worth your time. If you refuse to listen to this warning, though, I hope you enjoy the entry.

Seeing as this is a blog, and meant as a place to express my thoughts, I feel the burning desire to address a very big problem that seems to recently have become rampant. This problem is one that has plagued the human race for all time, but somehow recently has become totally out of control at McGill.
People killing good jokes.

Now, I'm not going to claim to be funny. I would never be so bold. What I will claim, on the other hand, is that I know funny, and there are too many fuckers out there who just aren't it, and, sadly, think they are. These small-minded, socially-inept jackasses are annoying enough, but lately, they not only seem to have multiplied in number (like the evil little viruses they are), but also to be massacring perfectly funny jokes, jokes they could never have made up themselves.

Leave those jokes alone!!!

Not enough that every time I go to a party, I need to listen to those morons tell me some half-witted story about the time they successfully licked their own nipple while playing the violin, now I also have to listen to them badly tell out of context jokes that they heard 3 days before?!? Or, worse, I have to listen to them end EVERY BLOODY, GODDAMN THING THEY SAY with some reference to a joke that they have now successfully ruined by using it more often than they bother to breathe?!? THIS IS NOT FUCKING FAIR!!!

So, since clearly evolution has failed, allowed the weak, unfunny idiots to continue to be born, and society has become saturated with morons who wouldn't know how to tell a joke if their worthless lives depended on it, I'm taking matters into my own hands, here and now. I refuse to put up with these people ruining the funny parts of my society. The idiots have already taken the internet, SSMU, and the music industry. I'll be damned before they take comedy.
Here then, is a list of things all human beings need to know about comedy, and for reasons that are totally beyond me, are not yet being taught in the schools (would serve society a hell of a lot more than giving everyone gym class, I'll tell you that):

1) If you're not going to tell a joke correctly, don't tell it at all.
Many years ago, I would have thought this rule went without saying, but apparently I overestimated when I guessed that the average human IQ is 7. See, when someone tells you a joke, and you think it's funny, that's NOT just because of the punch-line. I'm not sure where the misconception came from that the whole joke is the punch-line, but it's dead wrong. A joke's puch-line is its climax, but the joke is NOTHING without the proper buid-up, so don't get all impatient when telling it and skip straight to the punchline. No one wants sex with no foreplay. No one who's any good in bed, anyways.
This applies even more when immitating a comedy sketch or a TV show. Both of those things are only funny because they build context. Please don't demean the great comics of the world by telling HALF of their joke. If you're going to tell it, tell it properly, tell the whole section of their routine that the joke is part of. I swear to god, I'm going to fucking strangle the next asshole who comes up to me and goes "Don't you love Family Guy?!? I love when Stewie goes 'Victory will be mine!'!!!". THERE WAS MORE TO THAT SHOW THAN JUST THAT BLOODY LINE!!!! IT'S NOT FUNNY ON ITS OWN, AND YOU JACKASSES AREN'T FUNNY AT ALL!!!!
Context, people. Context.

2) Don't interrupt jokes you've already heard and give them away
This one ties in with rule number 1. When I'm telling a joke, and you've already heard it, I still need the build-up for the sake of the people who haven't heard it. Don't cut me off and go "Oh, yeah! This is the one that ends with blah blah blah blah!!! Hahaha!!! I love this joke". Jackasses. People who do this don't deserve to breathe. Not only are they acting annoying and stupid, they're making me look uncool too, and I do that enough on my own, I don't need someone else's help.

3) No matter how funny a joke or situation is, when you bring it up too much, it ceases to be funny
This rule is the original motivation for this rather angry post, mainly because it is the one I have most-often seen violated recently. "Violated" being the operative word here, because this rule has been so viciously violated that it may never walk normally again (yes, I actually just made that joke).
See, people sometimes have conversations with their friends where they come up with (what they feel are) funny comments or ideas. Some of these are even totally legit, and actually deserving of a laugh. The problem is, most of the idiots of this world don't often come into contact with something funny that is actually their own original idea. Because of this, when they DO come up with something funny on their own, they apparently feel the sudden need to turn the joke into a wierd, cultish obsession.
It begins by them repeating the story or conversation to every single living thing they meet, including their neighbour's goldfish. Assuming the joke is at least semi-funny, this is OK (if a tad annoying in the cases where you are around for them telling it more than once or twice), because they are just spreading the story. Maybe they're a little over-excited, but you can't blame them. They're not used to being funny, they're idiots.
Then, however, things take a turn for the worse. They take the idea of the joke too far. They start bringing the joke up over and over and over again in conversations that have nothing to do with it, and every time they do, they nearly choke to death laughing at how fucking hilarious they feel they are. It's even worse when there's more than one of them, because then their baseless self-confidence feeds of one-another and they laugh even more. They don't let others around them be at peace a moment without reminding them about the joke. A good example of this is when these dim-wits think up a somewhat (but not terribly) humourous nickname for someone, and then start correcting people EVERY TIME they refer to that person by anything but that nickname. This is the kind of thing that leads me to start wishing that murder was legalised so that I could excercise a little life-taking freedom. No joke, no joke, NO joke is funny enough to be worth bringing up that much.
Often, around this point in time, the person who came up with the joke (and sometimes their equally moronic cronies) will change their MSN screenname to something about the joke. They'll add a signature to their e-mails with the joke in it. They'll greet every person they see with a reference to the joke.
If there was any justice in this universe, it would be right about then that these people would be struck by lightning. Sadly, the universe seems to be just as lacking in justice as these disgraces to comedy are in wit.
...
I don't know how else to emphasise this point. STOP REPEATING JOKES SO FUCKING MUCH.
These people are sucking all the funny out of the universe and they need to be stopped, goddammit!!!


This is a serious issue!!!
Honestly!!!
I may have pretty sarcastic in this post, but my point stands. Something needs to be done, so all of you, do society a favour, and the next time you spot someone breaking on of these rules, for god's sake, kill them where they stand and save us all a lot of jokes.



Just before I run off, in following with the theme of mentioning morons, I feel you sould all go check out THIS CAR. The owner has made it into a piece of pure Star Wars geekdom. Now, I love Star Wars, but that's ridiculous. Look through all the pictures, I'm sure you'll agree.


OK, I'm done.

OK, so I've been absent from blogging from a bit, but I hear that that penguin game more than took care of filling in the space for me (my current record is 594.5, so there!). Good to know.

So, last night, Pasha and I hung out and talked a whole bunch about the social and working politics of our respective club-involvement. Specifically, McMUN (the McGill Model United Nations) for her, V-Day and the Vagina Monologues production for me. Good talk, and I find it interesting how despite doing such totally different things, we both seem to encounter some very similar problems. The conversation was generally filled with "I know!", "Shit, that's so annoying!", etc.
Strange how in the end, wherever you go and whatever you do, peoples' good and bad working styles always manifest in the same ways.
Anyways, that's a tangent.
Point is, we talked a lot about V-Day and McMun. It's an interesting topic for me, since I'm feeling very conflicted between the two for next year (this is all on the silly assumption that I survive this semester and return next year, by the way). I've worked on V-Day for 2 years now, and I really love it. I feel really stongly that the cause (working to end gender-based violence) is an excellent one. Next year's production team looks to be amazing, and I'd love to work with them.
However, I've been thinking of getting invoved in the McMUN stuff since first year. I never did, because I just sort-of ended up doing other things. This year, though, I've made some really amazing friends from that group, and I'm getting people telling me I should join up next year. Also, I spent a short time at this year's McMUN conference, and I was hit with the most painful feeling of regret for not being involved before. Looking around there, I realized that it was so much of so many things I'm really into. while I had a great evening there, I left with a little voice in the back of my mind berating me for never getting involved.
As you can see, I'm very torn. The thought of not doing V-Day next year wierds me out completely, but I also feel strange not doing McMUN, since I've thought of it so much, and so many people have suggested it.
Oh, and before anyone says it, no way in HELL I could do both. Just to make that clear. It would be way too much.

Enough of my crap, though.
To coincide with the many questions in my extra-curricular life, I feel I ought to tell you all about THIS interesting site. It's a computerized 20 questions game, and freakishly accurate. I like to pretend it's the predecesor to us creating a real-life android like Data from Star Trek. Seeing as this 20 questions thing is so successful, I feel (in my expert opinion) that this means a real-life Data has an ETA of.. oh.. say 2 years. Make sense? Does to me.
(Actually, speaking of A.I. work, I continue to encourage everyone to go and check out the site about Leonardo that I long ago linked to here.)

Hey, here's something terrible. Enjoy.

Finally, because nowadays, there's a sequel to every movie, a spinoff to ever TV show, and a sequel to every video-game, why shouldn't there be a Penguin 2? Well, the good news (or bad news for those needing to actually do work), is that there is!!! Enjoy:

It's a little more complicated than the first, so read those instructions that show up, and keep trying. Once you get it, you will be hooked.
Oh, and because we all love competition, my current best single-shot is 95.3, and my best overall score is something around 570.

Hope everyone who is on reading week has a great one, and everyone not on reading week has a great not-one.

EDIT: Because having both penguin games on the page might slow one or the other (or both) down a bit, I've now linked them over with my other links there (under "other cool stuff"). The best part of going to the links is that you get to play the games full-screen! Hot shit, I know.

So, I haven't updated in a while, besides that Gluemeat update. There are a number of reasons for this:

1) Who really needs anything else when there's Gluemeat?

2) The McGill production of The Vagina Monologues was this weekend (Fri., Sat., Sun.). I was one of the advertising coordinators, so I was there all 3 nights trying to help out a bit. The whole experience has left me both physically and emotionally drained (OK, I'm being WAY over-dramatic, but I'm bloody tired, that's the point I'm making here). We managed to pretty much sell out all 3 nights, which is fantastic. I think we raised something like $16000 for charities that help stop gender-based violence. Freakin' HUGE.
Now, though, people are trying to go back and understand some of the wierd social politics on and between the coordinating team and cast. This could take a while. Things have ended on a really strange note this year (as opposed to last year, when I also did a bit of stuff with the production). I think a lot of people are walking away with a bad taste in their mouth, which is sad. I hope this doesn't carry over to next year too much.

3) I mean, seriously, though. Why do you want anything but Gluemeat?!?

4) I've been spending all my time playing this moronic (yet addictive) penguin game:

Basically, click anywhere once, the penguin will jump, click again to make the yeti swing. My record is hitting the penguin 588.8 (meters, I'm guessing).

5) I've also been trying to study (something I ought to be doing right now, actually), so blogging has been moved down the priority list.


So, basically, that's me at the moment.
I hope you're all doing well, and I'm sorry I haven't talked to a lot of people lately. To those who came to the Monologues, thank you, and I hope you enjoyed it. To those who didn't, you should all hang your heads in shame and disgrace (or come next year....).

YES!!!!
YES!!!!
YES!!!!
YES!!!!
YES!!!!
YES!!!!
YES!!!!



Woohoo!!!
I can't wait for March 1st!!!

YES!!!!
YES!!!!
YES!!!!